One Man's Treasure
by Mythdefied
Summary: Xena, Gabrielle and Autolycus have a little adventure. (Gen fic)


March 2003: I've always thought that this could easily have been a fluff episode of X:WP before the series went to hell, or, with the replacement of two of the lead characters, an episode of "Young Hercules." I don't think it's a bad story. But judge for yourself. 

I think (and it's unfortunately a dim memory from years ago) that Tham had a look over on this one, so if there're still mistakes wandering around, the fault is all mine. 

Disclaimers: I never owned them, and certainly by the end of the series I didn't want to. 

Warnings: None! Fluff! 

Rating: G(!) 

Archive: Autoerotica, ff.net, and my site. 

******************   
One Man's Treasure...   
by Erin   
Feburary 1999   
(revised March 2003)   
****************** 

"Now, you're sure about this?" Autolycus asked as he worked at opening the second set of locks. 

"I told you, the greatest treasure in the kingdom is right behind this door," Xena replied. 

"And you're absolutely certain there's enough for both of us?" 

"Positive." 

Xena was smiling slightly and for some reason that made Autolycus a bit nervous. 

He was still having a hard time believing that Xena had come to him with this plan in the first place. This was hardly the first time they'd teamed up to steal something but it was the first time she'd said outright that he'd be able to keep as much of the treasure as he could carry. Usually his partnerships with her and Gabrielle ended up leaving him with nothing to show for his work save a growing reputation for having a heart of gold. He'd rather just have the gold. 

Gabrielle was currently standing look-out around the corner. They only had about five minutes before the guards returned on their rounds. That was four minutes longer than they'd need. 

Autolycus had gotten them into the palace and past all of the guards in under a half-hour. It hadn't been easy, but if the payoff was as big as Xena was hinting at then it was all worth it. 

With his considerable talent he quickly had the last of the locks open. 

"Okay," he pushed open the door. "After you," he extended his arm with a flourish, indicating that Xena should go first. Normally he'd insist on being the first inside but it was dark in there and there could be traps and Xena had the torch, so she went first. 

"Gabrielle, come on," she called out in a low voice. She waited until Gabrielle had joined them before proceeding inside. 

Autolycus went last, closing the door behind them. Hopefully the guards wouldn't think to look too closely at the locks for a while. Then he saw what was in the room. 

Xena had lit the torches lining the walls, revealing two large tubs full of...something. The smell in the air was very unfamiliar but not unpleasant. That didn't make Autolycus any happier. 

"What is this?" he demanded, looking around in vain for the slightest sign of gold or jewels or _any_ type of valuables. 

"The greatest treasure in the kingdom," Gabrielle said with a grin, dipping her fingers into one of the tubs. "Chocolate!" She began licking the dark liquid off her fingers, her expression one of absolute bliss. 

"Chocolate? What in Tartarus is chocolate?" 

"It comes from another land. It's a delicacy and you can have as much of it as you can carry," Xena said, obviously struggling to suppress laughter. 

"Oh, this is just great." Autolycus threw his hands up in the air. "What am I supposed to do with this...stuff? I can't sell it!" 

"Then help us take some back to the orphanage," Xena suggested as she and Gabrielle began to fill up the wine skins they'd brought. Auto had wondered what those were for. Now he knew and he wasn't pleased about it. 

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" he accused as he walked towards them. "Why do you always do this to me? Do you have something against a man trying to earn a living?" 

"Try getting a real job," Xena said dryly. 

"Ha, ha. I'm good at what I do, or at least I would be if you and Hercules would ever give me a break!" 

"Oh, come on, Autolycus," said Gabrielle. "Think about all those children who never get a treat like this. Think about how grateful they'll be." 

"I'd rather think about how I'm going to restore my reputation after _this_. The King of Thieves, breaking into a palace to steal _chocolate_." He shook his head. "I'll never hear the end of it." 

Xena glanced meaningfully at Gabrielle as they finished filling the last of the wineskins. 

"Autolycus?" 

Her tone was too pleasant. Autolycus was instantly on guard as he looked at her, one eyebrow raised questioningly. 

"I don't think you fully appreciate chocolate. I think you should get better acquainted with it." 

"Uh, no, that's all right, but thanks anyway." Auto tried to back away but he wasn't fast enough. Suddenly he found himself in the grip of two very determined women. 

"Have a nice swim," Gabrielle said cheerfully, then they pushed him backwards into the tub. 

_____________ 

"It's not _that_ funny." 

"Yes it is!" Gabrielle had to lean on her staff as they walked to keep from falling as she continued to laugh. 

She hadn't stopped since they'd left the palace and it was safe to make noise. Even Xena had been forced to stop while she waited for her own laughter to subside. She was still chuckling every time she looked at Autolycus. 

He'd managed to wipe enough of the chocolate off so that he wasn't dripping when he walked, but he was still a mess. His clothes were ruined and it was going to take days to get all of the sticky stuff off of him. 

"Cheer up, Autolycus," Xena said. "You're helping to do a good thing here," she indicated the wine skins they were all carrying. 

"Oh yeah, feel my happiness here," he grumbled. 

"Say what you want, you and I both know you've got a heart in there." That amused smile was threatening to make an appearance again. "You're a very...sweet guy." 

That sent Gabrielle into another fit of laughter. "Yeah, you've got really good taste!" 

"Laugh it up," he muttered, "see if I help you again." Then something occurred to him. 

Xena had said this stuff was a delicacy, that meant it was probably rare, which meant it was more than likely valuable, to the right buyers. 

"How much of this can I keep?" he asked speculatively. 

"We could probably spare a couple of the wineskins," Xena answered. 

"That's good," Auto nodded, doing a bit of mental math. He really only needed one to show a perspective buyer, which meant.... "I've got one extra then." He began working the stopper out of one of the skins. 

"So, Gabrielle," he said casually as he got it open, "you and Xena really like chocolate, huh?" 

"Sure, it's really gr--oh, no. Autolycus, don't you even think about it! Stay away -- run Xena!"   
  
  
  


Fin 

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© 1998-2003, Erin. 


End file.
